Wittenberg Women's Soccer Roster, Stephen Darby Ministries, Articles F

Spiritually? Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. *Siri activates front camera*. Ive had worse. Thats why Im single. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 50. via: Pexels / George Pak. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. and our Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) I really thought you already knew. 14. 2. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. No, waitIm actually plural. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. I dont know. I'm fine. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. Then you die. Hopefully, youll stay there. 60. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Just Smile And Nod It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. | Are you surviving? 3. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Are those space pants? funny response to are you still alive. 14. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Because they are already taking their time. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Pick your struggle. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. 17. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I repeat I am plural! still alive 810 GIFs. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky I'm wondering how you are. Being single is much better than being married. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Impressive! Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Sorry, life. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 8. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. Hope you're well". The following two tabs change content below. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Not so much. Here's another way to respond to your crush. My guardian angel be like 2. "I'm alright, mate". If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Required fields are marked *. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. (Explained). Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Are you going to marry me? Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Is it your job to spread ignorance? Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. There are nosy people everywhere! Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Some people spend all their time on their phone. The best I can be. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. 14. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). 9. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. 82. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade This one is funny when you havent said anything. *licks lips*. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? 90. I hope you like some of them. I'm alive! When they play it cool, play it ice cold. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Im not single. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Stop asking me why Im single! I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. . I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. 2. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. I suggest you do a little soul searching. But, they will grow up into a dog. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Image: wikimedia commons 6. You should really come with a warning label. 80. 52. I cant even afford to feed myself! 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment Otherwise, we would still be with them today. It's all about confidence. Physically? Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. "Alright. Ah, sarcasm. Feeling confident? How do you think that I am doing? Im jealous of people who dont know you. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence Now you can be! I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. 18. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! Maybe you can Google it. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. 39. So much better than most people. You just have bad luck at thinking. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. I'm afraid I can't do that. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Thank you, it made my day. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Learn more about us here. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Youre totally on the same page. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. 28. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. Mentally? The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Not bad. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Youll never be even half the man your mother is. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 81. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. My bad, its just your mouth. Stupidity isnt a crime. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. That's boyfriend material. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 75. 91. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. I hope you are at your best too. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! You dont need to say it. Do you really care? Thats because Im still waiting for you. Dont wake me up yet. I favour the "How am I what?" Call the police." 13 Quora User Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Don Draper? Could Be Payday. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Yup, I dont share it. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? 63. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Im always there when I need me. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Living the dream! I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. He will be missed. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? My only talent is not being in a relationship. 6. I was doing great, before you came. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Holy s**t, you can see me?! Did someone leave your cage open? Could be better, though. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. I agree, thanks for sharing. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Steven Wright (comedian). Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? 99. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. This one is a bit long. 45. - Anonymous. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. I was actually talking to my friend". 9. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. What to Say When Someone Calls You Cute? - Beezzly 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" Hey, whered you get that nose? If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! I learned my lesson. How impressive! Dont get caught with nothing to say. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be.