When employees overstep their manager, its frustrating. Sometimes listening to and valuing their expertise can make a shift. And in those kinds of situations, you do not need to challenge things. Who doesnt want enthusiastic employees? I feel I could write this letter from Janes perspective a couple years ago. Timing is going to be important as to whether anyone considers hmm I wonder if Jane has a point or just gets frustrated because its a done deal and energy has to go into the next thing. So her suggestions should be rare. Biden expected to tighten rules on US investment in China. And it is the reason why employees overstep your authority and begin undermining your leadership. You've been unemployed and need this job. OMG, Ive had a few Janes in my life. If not addressed immediately and appropriately, it can upend an entire team. I just personally bristle at the stay in your lane terminology as it implies that you shouldnt be invested or curious about how your organisation works. My intent was for this to be a courtesy for several organizational leaders, letting them know what would be happening and alerting them that for a couple of days our activities would be disruptive (in a positive way) to the routine. It would be strange if she *didnt* say something. That happening one time is a very different thing from it happening constantly. I was laid off from that job in November because it came down to Brenda or me, & I had only been there 2.5 years to her 10, so I got the boot. Council's 'will' not good enough for the Police Department You must not tolerate any bad behaviors that undermine yourauthority and make other employees feel that if some can get away with it, they too will. I hear you, and I can see how it might come across that way. So the answer is not to yell at the coworker in front of their colleagues and tell them they need to STAY IN THEIR LANE and then kind of apologize for yelling, but not for making it public but basically saying they made you yell because of too much lane changing (which in this case was answering the main desk phone when the main desk person wanted a break). Its not that theyre stupid or not able to contribute or worthless, theyre just generally not genuinely invested in a vision or by curiosity, they just want to be the smartest person in the room and get attention paid them. Chhaya suggests establishing boundaries and sticking to them. Alisons advice is very good! Support them by stating their authority to make that decision and acceptance of what theyve come up with. I also cant tell if her feedback isnt valuable (even if you do disagree with it). I guess the answer to his forthright comment is well, you dont have to agree. But yep if its just I dont feel ready *yet* then thats a really good way of putting it. See more. Q. I am concerned about a restructuring that is going on, and it looks like Im going to be reporting to someone who doesnt know much about what I do. Too often, new leaders take their new role and level of authority for granted. Yeah. Employees who challenge your authority may be doing you a favor! Finally someone with some empathy for Jane. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. A thing that I would look at with her is what does a viable, constructive comment actually look like? I watched a Dr. Phil episode years ago, and someone that her local government wasnt listening to what she had to say about an issue. I see myself in Jane a bit. Ugh. Just recently I had someone decide that Im obviously overspending on certain technology purchases. But when someone isnt respecting reasonable boundaries for where they do and dont have involvement, its okay for you to set up those boundaries yourself, and to say this is what will work for us and this is what wont.. Usually this type of person feels their opinion is so self-evidently correct that they truly cannot imagine someone understanding them but still disagreeing. Your managers behaviors are showing signs of dependency and indicate that he is seeking increased control, input, and decision-making over what youre doing. I think Allisons advice is spot-on, because it sounds like this Jane clearly just wants to have an opinion on everything, but can I also bring up that: If the C-suite enables this behavior, it prevents the leader from being taken seriously. Never has its not what you say, but how you say it been more relevant. Jane may have good ideas occasionally! A. should I be so emotionally drained by managing? Know that if youre going to ask for feedback, then stop and listen to it, even if you dont like whats being said. Alsoremember, as employees dont want a manager overstepping boundaries you should also not allow any employee overstepping boundaries at work. Part of managing people is telling them that we, or the group, dont make decisions about X. Resolving concerns between their team members is one of the core responsibilities of a manager and they will take it from there. The other way Ive seen people control themselves is to limit yourself to X number of critiques per meeting/week/month (so you make sure you use them wisely.). so if she doesnt like the way something is written and it is grammatically incorrect, I would argue she should chime in. If you do disagree, take a moment and ask questions to understand their point of view. I am very often not a stakeholder even in decisions that do affect my department, but my supervisors dont make me come to the meetings about those decisions. Its not a passive aggressive threat. Then there are times where I moved away from the scene entirely, because I just did not want to deal with the enormity of the problems. Your goal in sharing information with your leader is to support them in being more effective in their role by giving them relevant information only. If they have a great idea that could make a process better, talk it out and see what you can try. When business leaders set healthy boundaries in the workplace, it can transform their ability to manage and motivate others. The box was more like a garbage can. I tell myself why should my experience be better than the people around me. 2) This doesnt apply to this particular instance, because Janes comments do seem very nitpicky, but I do think its really important to confirm if someones criticisms are actually valid or not. At this point, were not looking for feedback., And then you can use a classic phrase my wife uses to shut down her students: I understand you dont feel heard. They may have a better way to do something. And be prepared for the why questions from her, which is a variation of why wasnt I consulted?, Yeah. Its crucial that C-suite supports their managers and re-directs the employee back to them. Possibly she had a manager who listened to her before you as well. Inappropriate and Undermining Behaviour in the Workplace When managers accept that individual members are more critical to the team than the others, they give them the freedom to do whatever they like. Let them know how they are expected to operate as a team member and that their behavior is counter productive. Odds are, it's just another dumb "property manager" overstepping their authority - as they are prone to do. They pursue a land grab and overstep your boundaries with no authority as they attempt to climb the corporate ladder. The other Jane (Brenda) was much more subversive. Suggestions from the Hear Me! The comment above about being heard but not needed is also spot on. Time. The whole tone of the letter came off as those old folks wont get out of the way and let us do whatever we want, regardless of their experience with the company.. I spend most of my emotional labour at work trying to Jane-proof my conversations because I know she likely lacks the social awareness to change or possibly doesnt want to change because she thinks shes better than everyone else. The first conversation should be casual and offers the benefit of the doubt for them. I am the OP thank you all for these amazing comments and Alison for answering my Q. I have never had such a large team before so Im learning so much about all these new dynamics, when so many people are working together.Since I posed the Q Ive had many convos with the individual in question but I have to admit I have shied away from being so direct as Alison and many of the commenters have suggested. 1. Im glad I dont have to work with her anymore, but I wish my former employer had fired Brenda much sooner. This one is tricky. If, for example, you're a teacher in a school in which only the principal or headmaster may give permission for a student to leave school early, and you tell a student that he or she may do so, you've overstepped your authority. That was for after once or better yet, for now, before the next meeting. I didnt last long on that team and now that team is crumbling because nothing got done. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Id also be really clear about what you consider to be her lane and let her ask questions as necessary because sometimes it feels clear to you but when youre actually doing the work its much muddier. Instead, I see it as an opportunity to give them what they need, which is validation and/or expressions of empathy. Dr. Phil said, They heard you, but maybe their answer is no. The look on the ladys face almost madde me feel sorry for her. So I like the particular suggestion to very explicity say, I dont need you to weigh in on A, B, and C.but you are considered the expert on X and I value your experience with Y and Z so I want you to continue to speak up about those things. Unfortunately, some of these gifted individuals many times become nuisances to other team members and managers. They often meddle in decisions that have nothing to do with their work. Are you listening to your employees to validate their ideas and perceptions, even if you dont agree? Your employee must get their work done on a timely basis. If the scope of your role is not clearly defined, the chances for overstepping your leadership is heightened. Its best not to assume employees who overstep are intentionally trying to undermine anyones authority. And, on what X actually is (ie, an area that would actually have a lot of room to exercise her creativity). If everything you say comes from a negative tone, your leader may question your competence, causing fear and worry, allowing them to overstep because they dont believe that youll be able to achieve a positive outcome. We use cookies to help you navigate efficiently and perform certain functions. As the company got bigger and bigger the suggestion box was totally ignored, no one even put suggestions in the box. To keep your leadership and team on track, you have to deal with this toxic behavior. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. The combination of a clear expectation and revisiting creates effective accountability. For my projects, Im very clear about please share your feedback about X by Y date. Say things like We had a lot of discussions about this, including examining many of the issues youre raising, and this is how we decided to proceed., Yes, we thought about that already, and this is how we decided to proceed.. Your talented employees cant be outstanding if they keep bullying and alienating their colleagues. Somewhere along the line they missed the part about the board being a governing entity - no one individual has power, only the board as a whole can make decisions and direct work. 2. Your boss is not going to fight this battle, because he knows it's a hopeless campaign. also, when you walk her through it, the subtle message you are sending her is that she DOES get to make you justify the decisions that are made. Its a case of the Emperor has no clothes. Here are some ways to re-establish control: 1. I apologize, but I make it clear that this cannot be tolerated here. (I got a verbal reprimand for it, but she really deserved it, & I still dont regret what I said.) This just appears to be another case of a "property manager" overstepping his/her authority (my guess is the owner/landlord doesn't even know). Shes clearly not doing a great job of communicating that, but if shes already sensing apprehension when she questions these decisions, that may not encourage her to continue to articulate her concerns. She has no interest in what decisions have been made, the processes involved in making those and the people who actually went through those processes. 04:02. They shouldnt completely shut down the employees feedback without discussing it and making sure the employee understands either why they cant move forward immediately or at all. They resist change and dont want to receive feedback. A resource for when Middle Management has got you down. This behavior stops with you. OP, it may be worth looking at including a RACI diagram for bigger projects to make boundaries clear. It sounds like your Jane may have been the stopped clock that got one thing right, but was ignored, at least partially due to her being off base the other 1438 minutes a day. Dont use the language of stay in your lane for example. We enjoy some satisfaction from being nimble, so we implemented her suggested changes and the end result was very pleasing. You can choose to enable or disable some or all of these cookies but disabling some of them may affect your browsing experience. Im not heard on a lot of things because its not in my role! I think this is a compassionate take on Jane. I feel like the line of communication is open for input, especially 1:1 input. 1. Stepping into a leadership role doesnt guarantee immediate respect from the team. But they eventually find that they're only adding more fuel to the fire and expending wasted energy. You could even ask what specifically has happened that makes you feel that youre not being heard? And yes, demand specifics. Not only is it a good idea to be self-aware as to the necessity of your input, its also good to know when to *stop* giving that feedback and advice (even if you have some expertise in it). Youre a manager. most UX folks would really value your input. Whereas, if you present an update, you demonstrate your authority as a leader, increasing the boards confidence in your abilities. As an editor, I sometimes notice things that arent strictly under my mandate, but Ive found that an email or quick conversation hedged with some language to show I dont assume Im right is usually well received. A. What do you think about this? Have a Conversation With Your Manager If your coworker continues to overstep boundaries and is still being assertive about their role, even after your conversation, it's time to escalate the. This is alladdressed to me shes not in any meetings with the other stakeholders and decision makers so when these questions come up, especially in all team meetings, it feels like things get derailed since I have to try and defend things and walk her through hours of discussion or context she wasnt present for (and make it clear I supportthe decisions of the people who run those areas). But I also do the this isnt really my business, but I had a thought or just a suggestion; we could Most talented employees who overstep boundaries bully and pick fights with others over trivial issues. In every situation, Ive either taken the basic steps that he mentions, or I have to explain why theyre not necessary. This part of her feedback needs to be shut down right quick. You must have the qualifications to be able to filter . I think this too. It might be worth exploring with her why she feels the need to give her input on everthing. (Obviously I wouldnt be making comments if I didnt think they were on point, but its a bit of a you dont know what you dont know situation too). You often question other peoples decisions in meetings like saying that something seems off-brand, when its been thoroughly considered by the people whose job it is to make branding decisions, often in meetings that you werent part of, or criticizing the direction of a campaign, when you havent been in those strategy meetings and dont have the full picture that the people making those decisions do, or other criticism of choices that other people are in charge of thinking through, like design and copywriting. Seriously, where do these fad sayings come from?). I have had some sweet I told you so moments when down the line (sometimes 6 months or a year) the very thing I asked about and was told wasnt my lane is now a crisis and how did we miss this. I fully support the decision that was made, and were not looking for feedback at this point.. In your case, when they say this works I would respond with two things. Its much easier to let Negative Nancy/Ned run around inside our heads, than it is to just trust someone elses judgement. Youre responsible for specific decisions, strategy and outcomes that impact your company. To her I would say, You can either be right about not being heard OR you can start listening to what you are being told in response to your questions. Overstep definition, to go beyond; exceed: to overstep one's authority. Yes, this, so much. You could get attorneys fees, cost, and (depending on what your Lease says) force them to accept your payment in hand. If you have a team of yes-people who always agree with you, then they're not necessary because they are not helping you to be a better leader. Its also worth asking her about it because sometimes people get blow-back from things that shouldnt be in their lane but because theyre the most junior person, the last person to touch something, etc. It sounds like you would like to make this decision. If the LW wanted to make sure the employee wasnt stressing over nonexistent layoffs, though, they could certainly stress that shes doing a great job and is a valued employee. Also, make sure your team meeting agendas are crisp and specific. I have no idea if this is actually pretty typical or not, but I tend to handle stay in your lane/butt out types of conversations as: Ive said my piece, and I cant care about this more than the person doing it. I encounter it a lot more in my personal life than at work, but the premise is the same. It was so bad that I walked in in tears & left as early as I could each day physically trembling. People can be shown/taught how to make suggestions that will actually get used. A lot of the people are being hard on Jane. Only challenge is, its really difficult to explain to someone with poor soft skills that what that company isnt looking for is being officious and annoying. In this case, it sounds like your employee needs a good accountability anchor to work on with you! By being clear, direct, calm and letting him know what you want him to change about his behavior: "Bob, I noticed that in the meeting this afternoon, you spoke over me several times. As your team member finishes talking, you look around the room at the rest of your team members. Ah, growing startup company woes. She outlined all the town hall meetings she spoke at, the letters she sent, the protests she was part of, etc. Jane is wasting everyones time by questioning things on a project that she knows little about. What makes it more complicated is that Im also the AR guy, so I have a small stake in getting us paid. Chances are, you have your team who supports you, but you most likely also have a senior leader or governing body, such as a board of directors, who you report to. I really like this bridging back to the original conversation. Walking her through stuff makes it seem like she does have a stake in it, or else why would you be spending this much time woth her on it? I love working on things from start to finish, but I have a tendency to challenge certain things if I didnt get the full context. You can start by reflecting on the easiest aspect to influence your own behavior! And some ideas did not fit, and I would explain why so they could craft a sharper idea in the future. But whats really happening is that the rest of us either dont agree with them, or we have to do what the client wants regardless of what they think is correct. Andit makes a lot of sense to unfetter their genius and chain down mediocrity. Also, keep a few things in mind. My name is Dr. Angela Olsen. Jane also has made excuses about being trained as a scientist to question things critically, which isjust, no. The key is to ensure that you are respectful of the overstepping individuals position and authority. My thought here is that Jane isnt the one who wrote in. I hope this LWs Jane wont be like my Brenda. But she doesnt have experience in any of the areas where she questions decisions and wants input. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. I have a colleague who is very focused on being heard in all things at all times, and gets extremely upset when she feels people are ignoring her, but the attempts to give her long explanations about why her suggestions didnt work or, in a few cases, were actually illegal didnt help; she would nod, say she understood, and then go off and e-mail the person who explained to her, along with other people, and claims she was still being ignored. What she really wants is for people to implement her suggestions and tell her shes right. "Even the best intentions in trying to protect an employee or a visitor from an emergency or threat situation can later be misconstrued into an unwanted touching or unwanted confinement, which can lead later to either criminal or civil litigation against the security officer or guard." Company growth is hard to adapt to for the early employees! I supervise a manager who falsified an employee write-up but I dont think she should be fired. As we covered in our blog on how to lead by example, an essential part of our 4Cs leadership approach is to be Careful not to give feedback that doesnt acknowledge good intent while commenting on poor execution. Building a culture of trust takes time and continual investment. Its quite possible that he does not really have an in-depth understanding of your job, and he may lack confidence in his effectiveness as a manager. Point out that its a benefit for her because she isnt responsible for the other details. Im something of a Jane, at least internally. 2. This. My manager has been with the company for about a year, and he has an annoying habit of telling me to do extremely obvious things as I complete my work.