Or is she trying to get him to live up to his responsibilities (which he brought on himself when he had unprotected sex and got someone pregnant)? Fix Your Communication Problem. Does he think hes too old to be a dad? lets_be_honest The problem is not the other woman, the problem is your man and how you are responding to everything. April 9, 2012, 9:55 am. But hes no knight in shining armor because he is willing to bare some legally minimal level of responsibility. Why you waste any time belly aching about how unfair it is, is beyond me. Im only speaking on speculation, of course, since I was not a part of the situation and only heard about from him. Thank God for the real men. You want to be a slave to a prick like him? Make Ford. I think that gives you a little time to get on her good side and work on those shortcomings. His? Its very clear that you care a great deal about the quality of your childs life and emotional well-being. Months after we broke up, he would come and go as he pleased. Dump this creep. Nothing about that makes him a bad person. Abstinence is 100% effective, just saying. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? But that doesnt change the fact that these people are eating each other alive. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. April 9, 2012, 9:39 pm. I just found out that someone he had slept with before we got back together is pregnant. Theres many reasons besides wanting a mans money to not get an abortion. You shouldnt expect him to bow down and praise the woman. It isnt pertinent to the discussion. Not that she had the audacity to get pregnant after sex but for keeping the baby. SpaceySteph He does have the right to change his mind about how involved hed like to be. So the law says, hey, you two created this child, you two are responsible for supporting it. There is a massive difference between wanting a pregnancy to be terminated and deciding to have nothing to do with a child who has been born. Im not sure. Call me crazy, but I dont see any partys reaction to this crazy. Great, yet another fine example of the sheer brilliance and intellect of more and more heterosexuals in this case, the male whom increasingly seem to have all the knowledge and intellect as to where babies come from as, say, your average comatose five year old. And I am, I must admit. But in some ways, youre making my point, Francine. Of course my opinion of her is based on the story he is telling you. John Rohan I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. So much that he demanded his interim girlfriend get an abortion. ! And then of course Ross WE WERE ON A BREAK meltdown. Like being pregnant is easy. Frankly, it astounds me more of you dont think its a shockingly cunt-ified thing to do. Problem. So, he feels it is best to make things work with her for the sake of his baby. Id be more concerned with him having unprotected sex with someone HE just met. Offset Changes Instagram Avatar to Takeoff Photo After His Death. Francine bittergaymark April 9, 2012, 5:17 pm. For someone who cant stand a woman and does not want to have a child you think he would make slightly more responsibly decisions. The system you propose that if conception is not by mistake and if the man does not decide early on that he doesnt want to be responsible, then he should be obligated to that child is the craziness system ever. You sure arent one. Step back and take a look at what you have told us. Sounds like its coming out of the starting blocks with two strikes against it in the gene pool department. hi there! Image Source. He isnt what is best for you. SpaceySteph Welcome.In todays video I PRANK MY GIRLFRIEND !I GOT ANOTHER GIRL PREGNANT PRANK ON GIRLFRIEND. Your choice. I think this man, regardless his quality of character in other situations, demonstrates good foresight in deciding that no, hes not ready to be a father. So he literally now has to reap what he sows as the consequences of his actions. but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along Coke bottle explodes taking off your arm = coke pays. bittergaymark Your constant blatant disregard for others is increasingly more and more shocking Plus it is only the heteros that are so steadfast and determined to keep fucking people like me over and over All the while, claiming they want smaller government Then get the FUCK out of my bedroom and out of my fucking life. Youre more than welcome. April 10, 2012, 5:46 pm. She loved him back then but broke up with him over this but went back to him 20 years later thinking he grew up.2016. Dude, get away from this guy pronto! Well, hey, point out the flaws in what I said, then. April 9, 2012, 12:32 pm, Well to start theres this ridiculous bit of misogyny and what seems like lack of understanding of child support: one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met.. Thank God for the laws in place protecting children against men like you. This child will have no father and while I dont feel bad for the parents, I feel very bad for this child. You don't say how long you have been together, but there's a reason that you broke up with him then. No, thats the kids money. It takes two to tango my dear your boyfriend is as much to blame as this woman. reader, Maaeexo+, writes (11 November 2010): A April 9, 2012, 10:29 am. Why is it that she gets to have his child and not you? The more you fight for another womans man, the more desperate you look. Malarky. And John, be real for a moment, and honestly tell me you jump in on a number of issues here and not to just defend your brethren who you perceive to be under attack. Theres a fun scenario. Of course we have a right to an opinion, even if our opinion is that dirty sluts shouldnt breed. Yes, no birth control is perfect, blah blah. April 10, 2012, 10:41 am. But I think shes tried to trap him and hes untrappable.. If the woman is not required to support a child Both a man and a woman are needed to create a baby. Babies come from the hospital. REALLY?! Not everyone believes that. feelingroovy Heres the fact: LW, you dont get a say in what this woman does, and neither does your boyfriend. Do you want to talk about how a baby is made? That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. I know youre just trying to tell us that the little scroat wont be able to trap him, buttttt it looks like you cant hold onto him either? I honestly dont care if he did or didnt. You bolster my case by agreeing that he can share responsibility with the mother or simply provide support but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. I brought it up, that if *I* was the girlfriend, I would be bothered by this, in addition to his behavior post-conception. bittergaymark In many states men can declare themselves non-fathers. Consider the consequences or dont. Personally, I think they should be given a one-time option to opt-out if the woman wants to keep the child and the man doesnt. we were truley in love. I agree with the magically thing. Id rather him be honest and bow out now then be in and out or in as a lousy, forced parent. He wont be a deadbeat dad, as some have suggested. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I noticed you dutifully avoided addressing that.. I dont doubt that Sure Baby, I love you. Talk about malarky. Painted_lady But were here to offer advice to LW, so I say evanscr05 is right: Dump this loser, yesterday. Pregnancy by deception? She should think long and hard about that reason and not take her former bf back. These Are The 5 Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship. We were on and off for few months, and during that time we both dated other people. Oh boy. This LW really doesnt get a say in the matter, true, but if I were her Id take one look at the boyfriends actions and attitudes and dump him. Ive seen malarky thrown around quite a bit in this thread. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. By clicking Sign Up, you agree to our Dont engage in the action. He has a requirement to the mother of his child as well. I feel in a way he is essentially giving the child up for adoptionto the mother who wants the child. How quickly (or slowly) he got into a new relationship after your breakup. She looked enough to bang, though, huh? I think difference is ensuring that the child is cared for. I vehemently disagree when it is not in that order. I cried and felt so depressed. If it were me, Id stay FAR away from someone as seemingly immature and callous as your exand Id get myself to therapy to deal with my OWN immaturity and callousness. Or pining away for a father figure theyll never, ever have? You are the one who is keeping this rollercoaster of a relationship going with him. Hi guyssssss,I wanted to share a storytime video with you guys since it has a lot to do with the reason I moved to LA and a lot to do with who I am today!Sid. Just as the guy needs to respect the ladys decision to keep it. Tough shit. Its not some big secret that women have that option and that men are legally obligated to provide financially if she exercises that option. I think we can all agree that the safest thing for men to do is to simply masturbate alone, while wearing a condom. It was one of those comments that deserved the opportunity to be liked twice anyway. It is due to his own stupidity if he thought that a single sexual encounter could not produce a child, that birth control pills would definitely prevent him from impregnating someone or that he could legally opt out if a pregnancy occurred. April 10, 2012, 10:56 am, hes angry with the way this has worked out. Why isnt it fair of him to be angry? He was broken up with her at that time, and had no agreement that they would get together in the future. I can agree with you that the decision about which medical proceedure she under goes after that point is totally hers., Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards?. 3. its up to you wether to stay his friend or not. John Rohan an objective reading of the circumstances she describes suggests that its a legitimate consideration.. However, since the pregnant ex of the LWs ex seems to want the child and seems to know the guys take on it, it is apparently her decision to bring a child into that reality. Contrary to what might be implied buy my other comments in this thread, Im not typically a proponent of abortions. Are you kidding? Chuck Pelto Who knew? Reframed to show the low quality of the comparison: Would you like an abortion? = Would you like fries with that? > OK! iseeshiny Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. Tim. He also said he is furious with this women for wanting to keep the child, because they were only together for 2 minutes. LW, why in the hell would you want to get with this guy right now? Like being pregnant isnt massively uncomfortable. I would MUCH rather this guy walk away now then be stuck with a screaming baby he doesnt care for and end up throwing it off a bridge. 2.6K views, 5 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 44 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Wildheart: **Miracle Baby Or Mistaken Baby- Man Denies Having Baby With Wife (Full Episode) - Paternity Court **. April 9, 2012, 4:39 pm. iseeshiny Is it fair that in cases where neither the man nor the woman wants to continue a pregnancy, only the woman has to undergo a medical proceedure (or even when they want to carry to term for that matter)? I think, Chuck, what she meant was that no one is forcing these men to impregnate strangers. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. And sorry if this is harsh, but JESUS, I cant even be nice about this one. Why should she abort the baby I mean come on. This is about a pregnancy thats two weeks in. However, if a woman has sex with a man, she can make all the choices and decisions, force palimony, and essentially treat that man as their financial slave for the next 18 years. Besides, he made that choice a long time ago when you broke up the first time. Its no excuse but no one will every be able to explain men. This surprises you? And we dont really know that she actually said shes on the pill or if she is indeed really pregnant or if the lw truly wants him to go off and marry the other woman. Its not the situation, but the way its written. if she has a miscarriage because he's back with you, your fault. Im not advocating for it, just describing whats been proposed elsewhere. Wow..two mintueswhen did he realize he couldnt stand her before or after the two minutes? If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. At conception there is a zygote, then an embryo and then a fetus. In the state I live in, you can leave a baby (or even child I think) in a church or hospital if you do not want the child and you will not get in any trouble for it. So, Chuck, despite the fact that no one is denying the fact that there are some people out there trying to game the system, Chuck, the fact that shes pregnant is equally their responsibility. Recently he ended the affair and told this woman to have no further contact. Exactly where is there a grown-up here? Always follow your gut and your instincts. Also he could argue in court that the EXs fiance has taken on the role of father and the child would be damaged to find out that the fiance is not really the father. Youre all about putting consequeces on her choice to keep the baby what about his consequences? 2) A woman having an abortion is not the same as a man refusing to have anything to do with a child. However, a man should have no such option and should be forced to pay (literally and figuratively) for having sex. 2. We need to rebuild our trust, but I cant trust the situation because he cheated on me with her. Increasingly, more and more, these letters just simply disgust me. You are able to get through any obstacles on your path. Its 100% ok if you cant or dont want to be in that situation. So people got together, decided coke is in the best position to pay if its bottles explode and there you are. Again, this implies that a pregnancy must lead irrevocably to a child. I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! Category Convertible. SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM!!! Either way, it sounds like she and this douchenugget guy are made for each other. Do whats best for you, as difficult as that is. This is a process and it's got a lot of risks. Lucky us. A guy does have every right to tell her look, Im not ready to do this. What do you think happens to the fetus? I would love to pil your brain on this, specifically how your mom handled discussing it with you if you would be Willing to share. Understand that he will not leave her for you. Im an okder Dude but thats what we used to do. Abortion and adoption are both horrifying thoughts to Susie but she has no choice. In the same situation currently. Steve Kellmeyer We have been broken up for a few months but have remained friends and in contact. Not with hormonal BC, not with 2 methods of BC, not when one of the individuals has been sterilized. (i.e. I think its the first time I am hearing someone smear another person for NOT having an abortion. I agree with SweetsandBeets. Pretty sure this: and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby is the browbeat part. The last time I checked it took more than one person to make a baby. Homosexual couples dont HAVE to adopt. Maybe she IS trying to entrap him. He ordered her to get an abortion? You know as well as I do that the law is gender biased in effect in not in letter. April 10, 2012, 6:08 pm. No matter what happens, if you open a bottle of coca-cola and it explodes, taking off your arm in the process, Coke pays you damages for it. He didnt expect that to happen. By clicking Subscribe Now, you agree to our, Find out why Dr. Sherry has this message for this scorned woman: You are being played with a capital "P!, The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages. If a pregnancy results after you do the very thing you know can cause pregnancy you have no one to blame but yourself and whining about your lack of choices or the burden of what you must now do is unproductive and frankly, a little too late. I know of a jumpmaster who lost his nose and ears for being too bold doing the one-minute door check in severe cold weather. You may love and care for this man and attack the other women all day long, but at the end of the day, you do not have a relationship and nothing has changed. The primary relationship in someones life is allowed to (and should) remain the primary relationship, even after the later appearance of children. Steve Kellmeyer Stop this back and forth with him. Rachel, I have a child in the same situation. April 10, 2012, 10:20 pm. But it is probably fair to say I hate the over-the-top modern feminism you appear to espouse. Terrance Dean. And finally we see what youre doing ranting about paternity laws and mens rights on a relationship advice site. I attempt to avoid name calling, but youre not very smart. Women why do we allow men to sleep with us while they are drunk again..my god.I wont say dont continue your relationship but it will be hard. Sure sure you have sex, theres always the possibility of a child. You said it better, but I jumped back in before seeing your replies. lets_be_honest bittergaymark But, you couldnt let him go. April 9, 2012, 5:14 pm. The female of the species carry the offspring. That can either be a blessing or a curse, depending on your views of abortion, where you are in your life, who your partner is, etc. . I dont see anything wrong with his points. I just dont see why thats ok but its not ok for the guy to essentially do the same thing but then have to pay. The way you talk, I gotta believe youre one of those disgusting pro-lifers who are always trying to control people. She and Jimmy were going to raise their children together. Unfortunately, your boyfriend may have gotten another woman pregnant. And before we launch into a discussion of how terrible abortion is, in this case (the LW) were talking about one that is very early on. It would have been way happier if its bottles didnt explode. Also, just food for thought, a lot of you are saying how horrible it is he wants nothing to do with his child but is willing to pay for itwould you say the same thing to someone who gave their kid up for adoption? Im not saying I think he should get any sort of say in it, but why are we so quick to deride his emotional response to an accidental life-altering event that, in his mind, could have been corrected, but isnt going to be due to someone elses decision? This does sound like a lot of cod wallop and baby malarky shenanigans to me as well. Go argue with the feminists. In my opinion, even if the baby turns out to not be his, hes already shown his true colors; and theyre pretty yellow.
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