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Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. At approximately 6:45 am, Sydney was captured by cameras entering the Golden Gate Bridge. About his dads suicide, your article helping me a lot to help. As of 2013, it is estimated that 34 people have survived after jumping. I meant it, and I almost succeeded. I also knew that there was no hope whatsoever for what was wrong with me. Its complicated, Bay Area city cracks top 10 best for sleep: US News, JV talked about health struggles before disappearance, Martinez residents warned not to eat food grown in, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. My sons father committed suicide and in the moments he was alive after shooting himself he kept saying sorry I shouldnt have never done this over and over. Maybe in order to evade authorities who had refused permission to allow the jump legally 18 months earlier, he removed the weighted boots that were intended to keep him upright during the plunge. A. Challenges, extreme challenges. They have a good, nonjudgmental, and supportive discussions at ChronicSuicideSupport.com/forum/. I pray tonight. Sign promoting a 24/7 crisis text line on the Golden Gate Bridge. Healthcare sucks, Government sucks, Law Enforcement Sucks, the economy sucks, the housing market, job, market, and prospects suck, no body likes me, including myself, and I really dont like anyone else either. The Golden Gate Bridge came to be recognized as a symbol of the power and progress of the United States, and it set a precedent for suspension-bridge design around the world. Your Privacy Choices (Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads). Video footage from the bridge has been carefully reviewed by investigators but due to foggy and smoky conditions camera views where obstructed making it impossible to tell her exact location on the bridge. Maybe I didnt want to think he could actually do it. I use to hate her for wanting to leave me, got diagnosed w depression at 15 have done so many therapy sessions. Perfectly so. That is no way to live, but that is the reality. Maybe some of the posts on this site could be helpful to him? Your Privacy Choices (Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads). America doesnt feed narcissistic people and men are more materialistic. I guess I have started to realize its not my faultits no ones fault when a loved one commits suicide. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. Or, at least, balanced! Even for people who passionately wish and perhaps even need (for health reasons) to lose weight, they do not always prevail. T he Golden Gate Bridge is one of the top suicide sites in the world, surpassed only by the Yangtze River Bridge in Nanjing, China.People have jumped off of the bridge for nearly as long as it's been accessible to the public; the first recorded suicide a World War I veteran suspected to have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder took place less than three months after the . It gives me a good opportunity to dispel concerns that others may have, too. Privacy Policy. We are going to keep looking.. You can read more about this at http://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c4447. At the age of 19, Kevin Hines attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, an all-too-common act that nearly always results in death. I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. But it was my final stay at a state mental hospital when I began reading a book that finally spoke to me: Dying for a Drink, and for the first time in my life I recognized the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I had been treating major depression with a depressant. suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it, University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp, If Only: Self-Blame After a Loved Ones Suicide, You Cant Do Everything: Limitations in Helping a Suicidal Person, a meta-analysis of numerous studies that looked at bridges suicide barriers, Generally, research into method substitution, 10 Things Not to Say to a Suicidal Person. I know that this surprises many people. As well, though, I believe I may have accidentally given myself something like ECT. r/redsox. At 11:45 a.m. on Sept. 20, 2013 Kyle Gamboa stopped his truck in the middle of the highway, stepped out, ran onto the pedestrian walkway and jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to his death. In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . Which will turn into the vicious cycle of no job= no money, and no money = no job. The ongoing survival of people who attempt suicide is not (always) inevitable. It is wonderful that having children seems to have inoculated you against suicidal thoughts. The main principle to this is very simple Taking energy and harnessing it for the good and nothing can go wrong.. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. West returned to the Bay Area as a University of California, Berkeley student, where she studied until recently, San Francisco police said when she was first reported missing. Thanks again. Sometimes, life just sucks and the pain of living is unbearable. The longitude and latitude for the Bridge location is approximately: N 37 Degrees, 49 Minutes, 8.0 Seconds --- W 122 Degrees, 28 Minutes, 40.6 Seconds. It was a serious, intentional attempt to end my own life. Each. Such an assumption would be wrong. I am so very grateful now to be alive and I hope to find ways to assist others going through the deep abyss that can sometimes take over your entire being take another breath, and another. This site continues to distract me from my suicidal thoughts. What, Im supposed to carry on with the HOPE that things MIGHT get better. I recently lost a good friend to suicide. So when crazy people did crazy things in public places, excited crowds would gather. Im sorry youre feeling so bad that your suicide seems, to you, to be inevitable. . By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. She was at Crissy Field, near the bridge. Where Are They Now? She failed at killing herself and learned a different process of questions to see her feelings. But as long as your solution is to kill yourself , you wont see them even if theyre right in front of you. It is always wonderful to hear from someone who made it out to the other side. I attempted when I was a teenager. I wonder if you might benefit from talking with like-minded folks at ChronicSuicideSupport.com. Children are a major reason for living for many people who battle suicidal thoughts. She took a ride-share service. I said, Well, the night we met I got so drunk I passed out on the living room floor. And they did for the Hollywood stuntmans attempt to sail off the Golden Gate Bridge on Feb. 6, 1948. SFGATE's Editor-at-Large Andrew Chamings is a British writer in San Francisco. Her disappearance was every parents worst nightmare. Im sorry to hear of your loss Previously, police said she had not been seen or heard from since before dawn, on Sept. 29. The Golden Gate Bridge is the number one suicide site in the world. I hope he is seeing a psychiatrist for his medications, not a PCP, because psychiatrists are much more well versed in the benefits, risks, side effects, etc. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. West was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge onSept. 30, 2020 just before 7 a.m., according to the San Francisco Police Department. If all else fails do something drastic. She is an amazing musician. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. More women attempt suicide but more men complete it because men use more lethal methods. West returned to the Bay Area for college at UC Berkeley after her family moved from Pleasanton to North Carolina several years ago. Since Sept. 30, there has been no activity on her phone or credit cards. After all, they were intent on dying. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Too, people who attempt suicide may receive the help they need afterwards. I just need time to tidy up affairs, belongings, finances, assemble the plan. Sadly, your post is being used by some commenters to justify the Golden Gate Bridge net boondoggle. YEAH? Have you found commonality in your suicidal patients? A jump off the Golden Gate Bridge takes around four seconds, during which a person will reach a speed of 80 mphbefore smashing into the water's surface like concrete. Those two have shown some effectiveness at reducing suicidal ideation and behavior. Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines has stated: The very second I let go, I knew I had made a big mistake.. I supported her desire to stop taking her medication. Each year I did - 2004, 2007, and 2013 - the Red Sox went on to win the World Series. The tragedy of suicide is indisputable. Rhodes had been seeking fame all his life, and successfully became one of Hollywoods first stuntmen, appearing in movies such as "Under Arizona Skies" and "Duel in the Sun," in which he performed a cliff jump. Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. I want you to know you are loveable and precious. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. He recovered physically, but mentally he is now depressed and on anti-depressants,has anxiety attacks, is too emotional for working, and keeps saying he wishes he had succeeded with his attempt as he feels a burden to everyone. West vanished Sept. 30 in San Francisco. After my attempt at suicide, I tried to find information about my feelings and what others were feeling. I knew then that I would never try it again. "Folks that have seen anything that resembles Sydney, we really want to collect information.". : The Fate of Suicide Attempt Survivors, A Follow-up Study of Suicide Attempters from. In Mental Health circles there is a saying , that Sometimes suicide is inevitable. I blame myself 100% for her suicide. So, I have two choices: Miraculously stop all self harm and suicide attempts, or have to make sure they are 100% successful, because I cant stand the thought of long term in patient. My passion for helping suicidal people stems from my own lived experience with suicidality and suicide loss. Email: joshua.bote@sfgate.com and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. "Jump." That's the word Kevin Hines heard in his head on September 25, 2000, as he stood on the Golden Gate Bridge. Im about to be 22, medicated trying to live normal with constant suicidal thoughts. Anyone with information about Sydneys whereabouts is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek by texting or calling 925-705-8328. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. They are doing a med wash and released me with no meds, and actually said if I come back, I will be admitted long term. And there ended Rhodes four-years-in-the-making attempt to wow crowds and find fame by jumping from the bridge into the bay. The Golden Gate net project is like putting a bandaid on an ulcer. On average, 30 people or more die from suicide here each year. She is described as a white female, 5'10" and weighing about 130 pounds. At times I hate myself. Has he tried cognitive behavior therapy? Have had lots of therapy after that. Its agonizing to lose someone you love to suicide, and you describe that agony very powerfully. Theres people who love you and want you to keep pushing even if your soul reason is living to not put them through that heartache. [This comment was edited, per the Comments Policy. Thats why I searched for answers and I found this site. Whether ones anchor to life is children or some other passion, it is a gift to have a reason for living that outweighs suicidal thoughts. Ive worked in Mental health, Ive lost a family member through suicide. Public File for KBCW-TV / KBCW 44 Cable 12. Lets get real here life sucks and its hard but dont give up. Confessed to my dad and got shipped to a hospital. Also Live Through This website has beautiful portraits (photographic but also in prose) of people who survived a suicide attempt. We dont like living in pain, and we look for ways of ending that pain and, being creatures of habit, we do it in old familiar ways because thats what we know. He completed the challenge and won himself a taxi ride to New York. "There were many people in that vicinity during that time," said Mr. West. I would bet that most, if not all, had narcissistic mothers. It was apparently very foggy that morning. News. Someone may have seen something -- any piece of information could help lead us to Sydney," parents Kimberly and Jay West said in a joint statement. The Suicide Deterrent System, also known as the Safety Net, is being constructed to keep people from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Why Prevent Suicide? It is true that suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it. I love to see that in the Comments section; I find it beautiful when people can connect in this way and, even more, when someone can tell another person what they havent believed for themselves. "We have a lot of people that are asking us for information.". Rhodes, who also went by his native Navajo name Chief Sundown, was no stranger to danger. Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines has stated: "The very second I let go, I knew I had made a big mistake." Reports said West would often visit the bridge for runs, walks, and to take pictures. My name is Steven. I am literally living day by day and full of guilt, regret and anger. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. Thanks for sharing your story here. Im here. Camera footage has been reviewed and interviews have been conducted among West's friends and acquaintances, but there are no leads. Berkeley when she went missing on September 30, 2020. But the cameras lost sight of her because of heavy fog, making it impossible to know what happened toher. Thanks for sharing, Anne. The most intuitive reason is that suicidal crises are, by their nature, temporary. All 29 people who survived their suicide attempts off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge have said they regretted their decision as soon as they jumped. Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. Her family launched a website,findsydneywest.com, that they hope will remind the community Sydney is still missing. West's parents are asking anyone who may have been. 19-year-old Sydney West was last seen Sept. 30. Note: I wanted to make this post to hopefully create some sort of discussion around the case since it was almost a year and a half ago. But in reality, he cant know what the future holds. I did find this website and it has so much information that I needed to read. She was last seen wearing a light teal hoodie, dark leggings, and slip-on vans sneakers with dark green and black print. A $25,000 reward is being offered for anyone who has information that leads to her return. But things went wrong for Dusty as he climbed the rails to attempt the feat. Simply put, means restriction saves lives. This is perhaps the best argument for preventing suicide. I think it could be helpful to you. Take a trip somewhere I mean what do you have to lose, on your journey to wherever you may see life worth living make yourself do something. Had she jumped somebody definitely would have noticed, and it would've been caught on CCTV (the cameras are placed on light poles so fog does not block). So there are many, many more medications and medication combinations that he can try. SF]. Leads continue to come in, her parents said. Millions of eyes are going to locate her better than 20 sets, Jay West said. The man who tried to find fame by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. Wests parents confirmed in a new video released late Thursday she was last seen shortly before 7 a.m. on the Golden Gate Bridge. Even though a prior suicide attempt dramatically increases the risk for future suicide, studies have demonstrated that most people who survive a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide: There are different possible reasons why people who attempt suicide, or try to make such an attempt, might choose afterward to stay alive. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. "On Aug. 20, 1985, I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and I survived." Ken Baldwin was 28 years old and had just started a family. I couldnt pull all the way. I am suicidal have been for the past week. Reach out to someone, anyone because I can tell you they have no idea how you feel. Friends and family may rally to their side. Come home.. Anyone with information is asked to call 415-575-4444. This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. He once tried to jump off the Aloha Tower in Honolulu only to be thwarted at the last minute by police. I am a suicide survivor from India. According to her family, a private investigator has followed up on dozens of tips, but none have led to West's whereabouts. San Francisco police and the Orange County Sheriffs Office in North Carolina did not immediately respond to a request for comment from SFGATE. My husband killed himself 6 weeks ago at home to put a closure on our marital problem. Also, I've authored the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. Lately, the suicidal thoughts have permeated my brain. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. I cant tell you how much of what you write touches me in some way. My brother did the same in 2002. ive suffered depression for Years, 2 suicide attempts in 2008. Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. At the time, a made for TV movie, named Silence of the Heart came out. Your email address will not be published. Hi Joan. Theres just a lack of evidence that shes not with us anyone, Jay West said. Footage in the area, according to a website the family recently set up in light of her disappearance, was blocked by fog and morning haze. Here Are My Reasons. I died that day too. Theyre asking anyone "who may have been walking, biking, running, who commute over the bridge particularly Wednesday mornings at that time" to share information if they might have seen West or anything that can help locate the missing teen. Once her gap year was over, she moved back to California decided to attend U.C. Her parents,Jay and Kimberly West,said their daughter liked visiting that bridge and would go to nearby Crissy Field to exercise. I wear various hats: I created and maintain this website, Speaking of Suicide, I'm an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and I have a psychotherapy and consulting practice. BERKELEY, CA The parents of Sydney "Syd" West, a missing person who was previously a University of California, Berkeley student, have divulged new details in her case and are asking anyone with information to come forward. Bonnie. Thank you. Sydney West never returned home, and has not been heard from since. I know you mean well, but I always feel I wished I never survived. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. West had just gone off to college to her dream school, University of California Berkeley. You might think that, once freed from the authority figures who prevented their suicide on the bridge, they still went on to by suicide. Part of Audacy. My hope for others feeling like that is they tell someone who can help them. Hines, who suffers from bipolar disorder, survived a jump from San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge in 2000. I hope you can find peace within. I lost my boyfriend to suicide two years ago and I have not been able to forgive myself. I have battled the thoughts of suicide for many years but after I had children those thoughts died. Anyone in the Bay Area with any information regarding her disappearancecan contact Sgt. Andrew Chamings is an editor at SFGATE. And half of people who die by suicide had attempted suicide at least once previously. Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. West, 20, grew up in Pleasanton, Calif. She was a star volleyball player at Foothill High School and loved singing at open mic nights. She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. My family lied to me about basically everything relevant and valuable in life. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. All clues so far, the family has revealed, have not been fruitful.