And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. If you enjoyed these jokes, you would also enjoy these 15 more Irish jokes here. An American Priest and a British Man Walk into a Bar. and no kids. From silly puns to pub jests, to funeral jokes, the Irish humor has something for everyone. When the interview was over, the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test. Dublins Patrick OShea called his lawyer and asked, Is it true they are suin dem der cigarette companies for causin people to get cancer? How do I leave?, The desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd. So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! The new guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating. What are you after doing? replied his wife. Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Theres a nun standing outside it. He invited her to sit down. Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?. The priest says: "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. Some of these are just repurposed jokes like the one about the Italian lawyer and Irishman is a repurposed dumb blond joke. There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. None He fell. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! Pat, his wife and their 9-year-old son went shopping in Dublin for the first time. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). Paddy walked into a doctors office with two burnt ears. and would light a candle that they would have little ones. God says, "That wasn't funny. Submit your . The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. Paudie goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one Guinness. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. How in Heavens name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest?. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not 100!. I cant stand this. !, No she replied. Kelly is back and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little ones walkin' and twins in a pram. The foreman isnt pleased, but he wants the 200, so he allows an inspection. He parks the car and runs over to them. He then takes the last one in and does the same. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. , Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. An answered prayer 4. 6. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Getting directions 3. Pat. The man replies, "Well father, I ruck big men, and play with balls.". One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. #81 - 80. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Of course, said the president. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. Yep. And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read? She placed her purse on his desk and replied, $165,000. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. So he carved one out of wood. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. The diagnosis Paddy stops by the pub on the way home from the doctor. It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. Give me a Dos Equis, por favor., The second was from Holland. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Only when hes been drinking, Sir.. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. New man: Im a gambler. Score: 20. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .. In the Sahara Forest, replied the Irishman. Take your axe and go cut it down.. Forgetful doctor. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. After hearing another Irish joke, Paddy said, "I'm sick of all of the Irish stereotypes. Sick Jokes. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. What is my favourite thing about my grandpa? My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction. 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. It's a pundemic. She nodded, and they got up to dance. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. He walks in, approaches the bar and says, Hola bartender, I would like to have the finest beer in the world. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. The lawyer is going nuts, not knowing the answer. Thats my old one!, Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. But this is a newsagents'. "Will it help?" she asked. Tell me, Paddy? Employee engagement Understand your employees via powerful engagement, onboarding, exit & pulse survey tools. The Quickest Way To Cork. Sick Jokes. Whats the distance from The Earth to the Moon? The Irishman doesnt say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-euro note and hands it to the lawyer. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. Leprechauns dont That does it, he shouted, Hunchback! so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. Wishes. Shes over the fu*king moon!'. P.S Dont forget to like our Facebook page on Irish jokes, Categories Ireland, Irish Humor, Irish Jokes, Irish Memes, Irish Pictures, Irish Poem: To A Child Dancing In The Wind, By W. B. Yeats, Incantata, By Paul Muldoon An Irish Poem About A Friend And Their Strength. Best funeral jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 41 Funeral jokes animal asian black people blonde chemistry Chuck Norris dad dead baby desert island dirty fat gay IT jewish kids knock-knock lesbian little Johnny marriage math mexican nerd poems racist redneck sex stupid white people women Yo mama The best funeral jokes Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise?, The second man says, I dont think so. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! 8. This Irish joke will bring a smile to your face. Oh. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. Some of the greatest wits were Irish: Jonathan Swift, Oscar Wilde, Brendan Behan, George Bernard Shaw. Just give me a chance to show you what I can do, said the Irishman. Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died. A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. A light bulb goes off 5. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Share to Facebook. 3)- But you HAVE to drink, you're Irish. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick. Sunday: a day of rest 7. Have you ever actually had a drink yourself?, Well of course I havent, what a ridiculous question., Then you dont know what youre talking about., I dont need to taste the demon drink to know that its evil!, Look, how about this - I will buy you a drink. Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. Lets see how they like listening to the little b*stard! They are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and brighten your day. Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. Miss OLeary, he says, you havent made a single payment on your new windows. No, the man replied. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says. 7. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. Same address in Dublin, same doctor. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. Fookin Jaysus, says the Irishman, BMW thinks of everything. If you get any error, email us at contact@sickipedia.net. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. I got this done in Dublin. "Waiter, my coffee mug is damaged.". F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. The Irish pride themselves on their humor. Taking a stupid bet like that. They say "Nah your lying." Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway, He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones. A large Canadian lumber company advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. Why are you laughing? Top of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant. #9 - 1. Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. That's 150 miles from here." His wife asks who it was, and Paddy responds, "It was some eejit asking if the coast was clear." 2. 10. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about sickness are clean and safe for children of all ages. Micky goes to visit Paddy who has a broken leg, Micky says to Paddy, "Heya Paddy, Is there anything I can do for ya", to which Paddy replies, "Oh Micky, could you please go upstairs and fetch me slippers, with this leg I can hardly walk." My personal favourite was The Italian Lawyer. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Kerry. When the train came out of the tunnel, Julia Roberts and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Englishman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. "Oh, that's OK," says the nurse. Do yus think I shud? Yeah, replies the expert. Youre joking says the patient. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. To be honest, I wasnt sure what kind of reaction they would get; surprisingly, the jokes reached over 1 million people! So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Whats so special about him? asks Mary. Rick-O-Shea. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish - are out walking along the beach together one day. He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"! One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! Here, you'll find everything from hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. "Forgive me father for I have sinned," an Irish girl said. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Dr O'Mahony tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John." "Oh dear," John replies. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. The Scot reaches in and plucks the fly out. [quads id=1] A girl came home from a date. Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. The other. The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. Share to Tumblr. Youll never do it Paddy!, So Paddy goes in and spends a full 10 minutes in the room and comes out, Fu****g hell Paddy!!! Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. But he was so self-conscious that he never left the house. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. Two Irishmen, Declan and Seamus were walking down a country road, when they. Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. He asks the first fella for his name and address. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Challenge where people lick toilet . I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. Its your water tank. The priest fearing the worst asks, "What does that mean?". Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure. The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?, No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .., The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys The Irish sense. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. We decided put together a list of the 15 best Irish jokes of all time. Here are the best Irish jokes and one liners that I know. What do alcoholics and amputees have in common? Holy smokes! Said the Foreman. "Paddy jokes" are St. Patrick's Day favorites. OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom. Funny Joke About Sunday School Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. A: To prevent the Irish from ruling the world! Wasnt your man after telling me those windows would pay for themselves in a year? Ilona Balinait. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. Are you going to shear those sheep. That means that this is going to be an interesting article about some of the best Irish jokes ever and that is some of the best jokes in the world. 2 million hours - The average time men spend trying to find out why their darling is angry with them. From the one with the doctor that has good news for the patient, the news being that he has only 1 day to live, to the one with the three workers planting trees, and calling Mick an ambulance, you . Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. See more ideas about italian humor, italian girl problems, italian life. An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. Finally, she made her choice and asked the shop assistant called Mick, How much is this gold tinsel?, Mick seeing the pretty girl, said, This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre., Wow, thats grand, said Mary. Lord, he prayed. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. ! Well no. a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him, is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had, The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to. It wasnt that great, he said. Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue. Irish Jokes (Short Jokes, Long Jokes, and Paddys) Paddy's Doughnuts. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! Learn how your comment data is processed. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. Shared laughter gives us strength in adversity and can help us feel a bit more in control when the future looks uncertain. And rightfully so. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. It's an old one but certainly, doesn't disappoint. Poof! It was, replied the friend. What is a redneck virgin? 81. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. Look, David. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Mick measured out the tinsel and gave it to Mary. He says, "Glory be to God, isn't wonderful to see all the youngins. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. Dats simple. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! She replied, Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife.. asks the attendant. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. What I want to know is, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women It made me sleep with. I havent got a clue. said Mick, So Ill use the last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin 1. After a while the seed started to grow more and more. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Potto gold. Those on foot would cross the street. He went with you to the beer factory." Paddy shook his head. An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to But as a daughter gets older, she will stay near the family, draining it of . The woman never batted an eye. Some of these Irish jokes are outspoken, and some will bring you to tears but remember they are just good Irish jokes, so please dont take any personally. We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. A week later the lad comes back. Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? Mick could hardly believe it. No, replies Paddy. May 1, 2018 - Explore Jessica Canale's board "Half Italian half Irish. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! After over an hour of searching, he finally gives up. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. . If I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? Black jokes, Mexican jokes, they're all the same.. Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.. One of the best Irish jokes follows a flustered Irishman who wasn't able to find a parking space in a large mall's car park. Irish puns are so O'ffensive! Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. What's black and screams? Who told you that? asked Marty.. The driver says, Well, you see, sir, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. Wheres my husband? ir local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. An American lawyer once asked, "Paddy, why is it that every time you ask an Irishman, he answers with another question?". -24. nadnerb4ever 6 yr. ago. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. Theres a dance over at the club, he said. He hears a priest come in. "No, but it will get that silly smile off your face!" Sin and Politics If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. "Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick. One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband's best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. They dont, says the Irishman. The next night, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a drink. That's not how it works! He parks the car and runs over to them. What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. The lawyer asks the first question. 1) Best Irish joke is "The Doctor." Irish Jokes the doctor. It was two tired. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. Allie Hogan via Unsplash. Humor is an essential coping tool for surviving tough times. "Lord," he prayed, "This is driving me mad. Holocaust Joke. A horse walks into a bar. The pump attendant knows nothing about golf and greets him in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. I have kidnapped your dog. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. What did the oven say to the chicken? The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. It's either you're not in touch with reality or you just don't care! If you open space up for me, I swear I'll give up drinking my whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday." 1. And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? The drunken priest 2. They decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. ? The garda looks over at the woman and asks, Does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam? Smiling sweetly, she replies. The Catholic said mine is powerful, the Buddhist said, no, mine is powerful. What are dose? The first nun looks to heaven and says, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they're doing." The second nun looks up and says, "This one does!" Quarrel. When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? She was back home. But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered? When the St. Patrick's Day jokes fall out of season, keep the laughs going with these clever knock-knock jokes. 5 yrs. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend's. An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? He moves closer about 20 feet. I got this done in Dublin. BOOOOOOs. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town. I CANNOT believe that one Paddy would do this to another Paddy, signed the dog-owner, Ive just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said, watch out you dont trip up over your laces, Paddy., Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions., Paddy says, underneath the shoe, it says Taiwan.. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. Still no response. Join here. Cant just take your word for it. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and. Sure is, Patrick. Every day he arrives in a top-spec Mercedes. Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both.". The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. A garda pulls over a speeding car. Your first sentence is correct; however, your reason for the joke being funny is off. The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. Love Irish jokes. If you like these Irish jokes, then how about some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a month-long quarantine, you probably should've seen a doctor long before COVID-19.