Nuclear medicine uses small amounts of radioactive material called radiotracers. Mom: Its not funny, David! If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? What computer language do Spanish programmers use to make jokes for people? Pleasantly surprised by his honesty, I asked, Does your boss know that you discourage business?, Its my bosss idea, the employee replied sheepishly. = I have 18 questions. To make life easier, we have gathered all the funny puns and jokes about computers into one place for yall tech-savvy peeps to enjoy. When you cross a sheepdog with a jelly, what do you get? Seven Morning Habits of People Holier than You: #7 No Killing Before Lunch What should you do after your Nintendo game ends in a tie? Mac OS X v10.2.8 or earlier, choose System Preferences. PATIENT: Doctor, I need your help. It hertz so much!. I get anxious whenever I have to use the default Microsoft web browser.Using Chrome helps take the Edge off. What do dogs usually like to eat at the movie theaters? what type of pet does a computer have jokebemidji state hockey jersey. Scene: A conversation with my friends father, who knows I do Web design. How do computer programmers make extra money in the summer?They take on part-time jobs helping campers get rid of bugs! Its like that old saying, he said. IV. The 2D or 3D cyber animals which you get to adopt as a pet are . I was having computer issues.Boss: Hard drive?Me: No, the commute was fine. You can roast beef, but you cant pee soup. Have you heard of that new band "1023 Megabytes"? Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?In Google Docs. you're happy when you get stopped at a red light. The bartender says, So whatll it be?The first string says, I think Ill have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcuPlease excuse my friend, the second string says, He isnt null-terminated.. Me: Call my wife. There is no point in going to your search history and deleting it. Whats the difference between a $20 ring and a $200 ring? Top 10 hilarious dog puns. "Is there any turkey?" "I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.". Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone. Why did the PowerPoint Presentation cross the road? Choose Device Manager. To get data about your RAM on Windows, open PowerShell, then enter the following command: Get-CimInstance CIM_PhysicalMemory. Where do computers go to dance?The disk-O. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts. Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. Whats a programmers least favorite Pixar movie?A Bugs Life. 1. Because they hound their employees. Computer vision is a field of artificial intelligence (AI) that enables computers and systems to derive meaningful information from digital images, videos and other visual inputs and take actions or make recommendations based on that information. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, Youre plugging into my computer, not yours., Have you heard of that new band, 1023 Megabytes? My mother asked if I could change the DNS server settings. Internet Browsing History and Read phone Access Address Book, totally We recommend our users to update the browser. IX. All of them are really short. Just lock them both in a crate for a few hours and see which one is happy to see you once you open it. I dropped my laptop on the ground, and it broke!I guess it didnt have much HP. He presses paws. These electronic pets, or interactive desktop buddies as they are often referred to as, have become quite popular in the cyberspace today. After accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear, what did the dog say to Woody? What happens when a dog loses its tail? You know you're texting too much when Where did the dog leave his car? My computer suddenly started playing out, Someone Like You. Its, I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. The businessman wears a suit, but the dog just wears pants. Daughter: Dad you try to text, but you're on a landline. Whats the difference between a pair of genes and a pair of jeans? It had a hard drive. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and Im pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Mom: Avocado, Daughter: Dad theres a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Finding the perfect mouse for your PC sounds like a hard thing to do, but once your hand gets comfortable using a mouse, it just clicks. Ill look into it. Take care. It is also the primary memory unit of a computer along with the random access memory (RAM). I have to call everyone back. I tried my best. circumstances work for free, you can reach them by their email: Leonardomitnickhacking@gmail.com and get your job done instantly. Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that dont require a restart. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" What happened when the computer geeks met?It was love at first site. Hes going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.Edit: Apparently hes stuck in traffic and hes going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.Edit2: Hes making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days. Would you like to create warning label? 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Requirements include a 4.0 GPA in high school or a 3.5 GPA in college. Much more flexible than the real life that we live in, virtual life offers a wide scope for defining oneself in the parallel world on the Internet. What do you call a computer superhero? He tried eating his cookies with milk! What does a dog get when they finish obedience school? None! Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. A: Dead Siri-ous. #ComputerJokes #TechJokes #ITjokes #FunnyComputerJokes. 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Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents: I was in a couples home trying to fix their Internet connection. We hope you are enjoying TechSpirited! Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me? Spy on Whatsapp Messages. While taking stock of our products, I read aloud the final numbers to my boss. Because they have two left feet! Browse Encyclopedia. Is there a full moon every night in Acapulco? William Petersen. Why did the dog cross the road twice? Mom: Well Thats Fantastic. How do you stop an Internet troll?Seize their memes of production. Youll get a short circuit. Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables? The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. A croaker spaniel. If nobody likes your selfie, what is the value of the self? What's the difference between love and marriage? Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables?They were advised to have more fiber in their diet. What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup? 26. What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant? Are you sending me something via fax? A golden receiver. Ive got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. What does a baby computer call his father?Data. As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? I dropped my laptop on the ground, and it broke! Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?Because they had a connection. Since I dont understand Chinese, Im not your best option. Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? Whats the difference between a teacher and a cynic? ~. Hes going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes. Just 1 byte. Ask for a Wii-match! Why did the officer issue a ticket to the dog who gave birth on the side of the road? Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. Enter an administrator account name and password. Whether youre a dog lover or a cat lover, youll appreciate these dog jokes. It lost all its contacts! I know, says the Sheepdog. How does a computer science major pick up girls?whoops, I thought this was Google. Why doesnt the elephant use the computer? What did Darth Vaders dog say to Lukes dog? worth your money, please no time wasters,They wont under any One watches the seas while the other sees the watches. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?So it could surf the web. Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer. If you do not understand English, press 2. Can you get rid of it? Whats the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Rolex and Timex. Whats the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls? Why did the database administrator slice a tree stump in half?He needed a binary log. Copyright Tech Spirited & Buzzle.com, Inc. All rights reserved. obviously didn't pay my daughter's last mobile phone bill! One site took a jaundiced look at what one might expect to find on such boards. What do you mean? A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. Come on! Whats the difference between a man and a computer? YouTwitFace! Saw IT last nightFar less computer networking and so much more murderous clowning than anticipated. What is a pugs favorite fall beverage? Okay, let's be real here. Daughter: Dad theres a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. PATIENT: Doctor, I need your help. A watchdog. Do you have any suggestions?. Need more laughs? Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? A teacher answers your questions; a cynic questions your answers. Virtual pets can be downloaded on your computer from various virtual pet download websites in the cyberspace. It's a Dell. Applet: Small Application that runs with another app is the technical definition Great name for a tiny dog if you are looking for a perfect dog name from technology. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue.. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! So we called the wife in. Have you heard of that new band "1023 Megabytes"? If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. VII. A Bloodhound. They stop working properly when you open too many windows. Cute Puns. Did you hear about the computer that kept rebooting? Your email address will not be published. It turns out he was typing in italics. Hey Pandas, Post A Picture Of A Cat Being Naughty, 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. ariel malone married. Why did the boy's computer break? Best Jokes 2023! Whats the difference between a scratch-and-sniff book and a witchs book? What did mommy spider say to baby spider? But it's amusing and enjoyable nonetheless. Whats a programmers least favorite Pixar movie? When my printers type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. VIII. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? Lets say youre asking Youre sending me something via fax? They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. After a talking Sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: "All 40 accounted for." "But I only have 36 sheep," says the farmer. = Before google, there were librarians. Find qualified tutors in your area today!t. Whats a dogs favorite type of pizza? Father: I have a business idea. Why did the dog walk into the saloon? I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. Ive given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. The bartender says, So whatll it be?. What happened when the computer geeks met? I told my boss, Sorry Im late. Q: Why did the computer show up at work late? If you are interested in more such jokes and puns, take a look at these other articles: Camera Puns and Computer Jokes. What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer?A machine that has a bark worse than its byte. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content. What computer language do Spanish programmers use to make jokes for people?Ja-Ja-java script! Positron emission tomography (PET) is a type of nuclear medicine procedure that measures metabolic activity of the cells of body tissues. Why did the poordog chasehis own tail? Next, read these anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at. His funfair is next monkey. Prepare to crack a smile, brace yourself for some cringe, and enjoy all the geekiest tech jokes we have assembled below. Whats the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. How can you tell when the NSA is monitoring your computer? A woman wanted inspirational material on grass and lawns. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. I was Facebooking in church, and the usher passed by and whispered, You better be texting Jesus.. Daughter: Dad Why did the computer show up at work late? The guy who invented predictive text died last night. They have the biggest bark. Dad Jokes. What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler? I cant understand it, he said. Where does a Labradors food go before it can be sold in stores? Take a read and pick which one you like! A chili dog. 30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter. = You really messed up this time. 1. If, due to some or the other circumstances, you are not able to own a pet in real life, then owning a desktop pet of your own is undoubtedly your best bet. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Cell phone GPS location tracking. Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost? It was a shih-tzu. His dog sure didnt know how! You can repeat these steps to see if . 37. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?None. Why is the computer keyboard working so hard?Because it has two shifts! What chemical is released in your brain when you see something funny on the internet?Dopameme. Daughter: Please hurry because Im going to cry. Because they cant be buried in trees! You can really get your parents fooled by pretending their smart phone screen or yours has been cracked. What did the man name his two watch dogs? I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. Today I made my first money as a programmer.I sold my laptop. It's a Dell. Cheers! Virtual pets, range from dogs and cats to horses and snakes, are basically created by software programs. As he entered each one into a calculator, I deleted it off my mobile device. So when someone asks for it, tell them it's 12345678. He said, Lets go see a movie. We got in the car, and he dropped me off at school. How I Work: Read This Life Hack from God, Your Only Creator Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean? A. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Read on and let the laughing commence. Why do most programmers use a dark theme while coding? Its not stroganoff. Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. But I only have 36 sheep, says the farmer. Whats the difference between a good idea and a bad idea? Lets say youre asking me to write something in a specific language. The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because: 1. Why couldnt the dinosaur play games on the computer? Who is the dogs favorite comedian? When shes not writing you can find her watching the latest and greatest movies, listening to a true crime podcast (or two), blasting 90s music and hiking with her dog, Ryker, throughout the Finger Lakes. Love, Moth. Thus, pet keeping can be described as a symbiotic relationship, one that benefits both animals and human . We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Daughter: Please hurry because Im going to cry. While some websites require registration and a stipulated fee, others offer this facility without the hassles of registration and free of cost. I was having trouble with my internet at the farm, so I moved the modem to the barn. Google Jokes. Why did the database administrator slice a tree stump in half? High Smug Advisory. Wikipedia: Warning label does not exist. I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone. A: Data! Q. How does a computer get drunk? Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! I have had popups say things like "wow, you must be the world's fastest reader" when I just click on that box without reading them. Doctors Hate Her, but You Shouldnt Covet Her. 39. We respect your privacy. These corny jokes will do the trick. What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?Stop it! We recommend our users to update the browser. Don't forget to stay paws-itive. How did the boy break the school computer?His PE teacher told him to kick the ball in the net. Dog Puns. Daily Life Jokes. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 3. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Hate to break it to you, Facebook, but the entire Internet is already a Dislike button. 2. One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment. Whats the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? And though they require regular feeding, playing and sufficient care, all this can be done without even having to get up from your desktop PC. As for punishment, where naughty disk drives are sent?They are always sent to a Boot camp! Today I made my first money as a programmer. My Internet stopped working for 5 minutes. Why cant computers play tennis?They try to surf the net. Orders 0 beers. Im at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesnt show up. 11. What Kind of Memory Does My Computer Have InstalledWhen it comes to buying computer memory (ram) or upgrading by adding more ram, you may be wondering what t. What kind of dog consumes food with its ears? There are ample computer jokes on the web that will crack you up with no hacking tools required. Siri: Which wife? Restaurant in peace. One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. No, not there, he directed. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside. What's the difference between humans and frogs? Google Jokes Computer Jokes ADVERTISEMENT Continue quiz. These e-pets dont occupy much space in your house, nor do they require real food or caring. If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. Please reply immediately. Best of luck, Matt! Pupperoni. Click the arrow to expand it and see if any Bluetooth devices are listed. Why didnt the dog want to play football? Person 1: Whats your number then? Diet Jokes. Q: What do you call an iPhone that isnt kidding around? A. Instagram. Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime? I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it. The first item on the list will be "Caption," and the last will be "PSComputerName.". Don't use DEADBEEF because everyone can find it. What do chemists do with their dog bones? I was in a couples home trying to fix their Internet connection. Want to know if your husband or your dog loves you more? Person 1: Do you know how to use Outlook?Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it.Person 1: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?Person 2: Word. If you think that your computer, laptop, and phone spying on you is scary then think again. 7. By the pound! Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. 29. One bird asks the other one "Does something smell a little fishy to you?" A couple are swimming in the ocean when a pod of dolphins decide to join them. You can read more about it and change your preferences. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), I Tried TikToks Favorite Self-Tanning Drops, and They Made My Winter Skin Glow, 55 Winter Jokes That Will Warm You Up with Laughter, Now That His Kids Are Grown, This Dad Is Giving Up His Dad Jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. It was all you. What could be more incredible than a talking dog? Guy: Im sorry. Taking these positives into consideration, you can go ahead and adopt a virtual pet for your child so that he gets a cute and interactive companion to play with! Im employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is M. Alware. You'll see a long list of attributes for your RAM. Where did the software developer go? No worries. So lame, yet so bloody brilliant. The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today. . Gates boasted of the innovations his company had made. I keep trying, but nothing happens. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Because it was a hot dog. What do you call a dog magician? There also exist some websites which provide the option of adopting interactive pets online itself, without having to download them onto your desktop. Who doesnt love to tell (and hear) a great joke? Your account is not active. This comment is hidden. How can you tell when the NSA is monitoring your computer?The power is on and youre connected to the internet. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. If the Ten Commandments were Written by Popular Websites I. Bloodhounds. I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child. As she input the password, she muttered, I really dont know whats so difficult about typing Start123.. What did the computer do at lunchtime?Had a byte. The process of downloading desktop pets onto your PC is as easy as downloading music onto it. = I have no respect for you or myself! I changed my password to "incorrect". The hard drive crashed., We cant just send people down on your say-so, said the IT specialist.