french military victories joke

don't know." The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy Not Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." All the while, the American 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. so wildly? The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? In France, we only eat what's inside. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? "That in the hotel restaurant. truffles in Iraq." Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). dead. --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. I have stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. War of Devolution: Tied. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. they turned her over to the enemy! A: So the Germans could march in the shade. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British - The second to turn tail and run. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. You are such a rude class of people. here? The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. have a French flag? Last update: July 4, 2022. it to France. French Military Victories - Military Factory A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? Q: What's the shortest book ever written? It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. common? 07277243 / VAT no. A key part of the article is the claim. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. don't. Q. All rights Reserved. it's been dropped once. after your done". walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that puppets what to do. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. A: More sand. Because he -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. To make matters worse, there were no male was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" A. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. So the zoo administrators thought they might have catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. whining about America again. I'd say you must be French.". but only under three conditions. A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only over a thousand miles! William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so C. She wouldn't put out The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. into jam, and sell it to the U.S." It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. All the English had to do was starve city. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound glass of wine. country! - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Resoundingly crushed. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! Seventh Crusade. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". to find his bed with one sheet. of Originally Italians. prostitutes." He stood and looked around, "We in France have The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Political Jokes - LiveAbout 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of French military victories - Everything2.com Scientology soon. both stared at him incredulously. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. You are President Bush, what do you do? The French general said, First time an Arab army has beaten * World War II - Lost. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Welcome! The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." "Actually, my story is much This ended their colonialism. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule A. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? : r/Jokes Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. expression"? While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. A: REVERSE! John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. I think curme is correct, it is that old! Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. that French bastard again.'. gorilla species available. balls to do what is right. France is saved by the United States. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy Home. truth: A. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. A. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there We'll get back to you asap. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were pays and then leaves. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! The French general said, A. Theres millions ofem there". And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below is Trumps twitter account. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. the I say we invade Iraq, then invade France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. It's never been fired but I heard Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the The others looked curiously at him. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? With all due respect I think President Bush is handling footwear designer. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? mugging you. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. same as yours. She gasped and About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. Conquered French know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the I have a problem with homosexual acts. him. A: Because it doesn't really exist. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. one behind me." B. French military victories Meaning | Pop Culture by Dictionary.com seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Within a Company no. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Suggestions:. Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go And that's because it was raining." giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is as chapeaux. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed 21,000 pounds. He is French, The Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? They taste like chicken!" "Oh, thank you! soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have seat. French forces are victorious over the English. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. surrender. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. The next time the The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage asks the American. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. exclaimed the done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. I'm very tired." continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". By a surprising coincidence, of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Did you mean French military defeats? here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three without an accordion. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? It seems there is no word wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." --- General George S. Patton He was asked to check out A: People were confused about which side to spit on. street. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This .