It has highlighted a lot more of the issues in my marriage. I dont want to leave my husband and destroy my family, but I also know that the way Im feeling in my marriage now isnt how I want to feel forger. The person isnt necessarily actively searching for another person to fall in love with; it is just easier to fall for someone who offers them what theyve been craving in their relationship. You are the only one who can make the right decision for yourself, but please dont hesitate to reach out if you would like some exercises in clarifying what your heart truly wants. I know hes done but yet doesnt want to sever the ties because of his parents and our son. It was because of this child (but not only because of him), that we engaged in a serious relationship after all. All the time follow your heart. From then on, things went downhill. Well he has been messaging me a lot and talking about the past and he has mentioned he is getting a divorce and that Ive always been the one who got away. I have been married for 25 years to my best friend. We only argue about affairs. For some people the strongest indicator of a persons love and devotion is tangible symbols of their love. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions and define a custom action plan for you. On top of that my children seem to be extremely distant from me and always want to leave with their father when he threatens to take my car and leave. We are happy but I still have those feelings for the other person. I know how hard this is because I deal with people who are in your shoes on a regular basis. Just want to say thank your for reading. We have 6 kids together and they have expressed that they want their dad as well; however, the older ones express anger about his choices even though they want him home. I have been engaging in sexting with a childhood boyfriend that I got back in contact with after more than 20 years of not talking. Im torn too because everything would affect our daughter and our families. Ive been married for 8 years. All we became was best friends sleeping under the same roof, not even sharing a bed. Like anything of value, the love between two people needs to be maintained and taken care of. If things start to feel boring and lackluster, it becomes easy to crave outside attention. I have been married for almost 7 years now and I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. And letting him have sex with me and I hate every thing about it. I paid all the bills, I did all the daycare, I clean, I cook, my wife does girl weekends atleast 3x a year and honestly I never felt like my wife was that in to me. But Im just so freaking unhappy, and I cant explain it very well to others. not to fall in love. I know its a mutual attraction and its exciting. During that time, we have each had some feelings for each other at some time or another, but neither of us really mentioned it. Good evening my name is adeleke adebayo from Nigeria I lost my marriage because my wife is chitin on me she is bringing man to my house wen am not around one day I come back home on expect and cot. Im in the same boat but only that Im a woman and my story is similar to yours. For other people we are the perfect couple. One in a very unhappy marriage and the other in a stale marriage but they still communicate. But my problem is I cant let go of this guy. I really love my friend and it was only him I loved since time!!! We are constantly being exposed to the Hollywood and Disney movie culture, where it seems that everything is sunshine and rainbows for the rest of the couples life, no matter what. I am so lost I just want to disappear. You're already in what some refer to as an emotional affair. While chatting back and forth, my X fianc and i had never stopped loving each other. I cant enjoy my newborn because hes all over him and questioning everything I say and do and getting offended if I want to bathe him or change him. To access it, just click here. Almost the same situation as you. Ive spent the past 18 years striving to be the perfect mom and corporate wife but I am afraid that I might have been faking it the whole time because I thought, This is as good as its going to get. A month ago, my wife told me, she fell in love with another man and since then realized, what she was missing in our relationship, because she experienced feelings, she didnt feel for a long time. One day this summer he layed his hand on my knees saying I have great legs. He thinks nothing is wrong and doesnt see any problems. I have kids by another woman which I and before we met. One of my most recent coaching sessions inspired me to write this article for you today. And maybe he is, I do find myself calling him if I have a flat, or if my daughter needs something, or even if my account gets low and I need a few dollars to make sure it doesnt get into the negative. Thanks for writing this article. Your relationship was rocked by infidelity, but you put in the work to, Is your man dragging his feet when it comes to popping the question? No one else would put up with me like he does. It is confusing and challenging, but dont forget that we are here to help! Sorry, but I am giving up. He really is my best friend, but we live like roommates. In the beginning of what now is an affair, I tried to talk to my husband about my needs because I thought he deserves a chance to succeed but Im always met with some reason why I shouldnt feel that way. Hi: Ive been married for 25 years, very unhappy for the past 17 years. The good news here is that they can be changed. That opened up conversation that lead to an affair. Hi A, I have 3 daughters with my husband. There have been fights and tensions, and it becomes easy for someone to let go of the love that used to exist. I am attractive, play music, cook, well educated, romantic, never forget important days, and love her family, too. Your joy has and always will be IN YOU. Our minds are just so clouded with What ifs, questions, and fears, that we wind up feeling blind and confused. In this situation you are going to have to set boundaries and stick with them. Over time, our love for each other grew strong and we have had a solid base of love and trust (or so i thought). That said, the first thing to do would You might be adamantly opposed to the idea of divorce, and this could be a big part of why you're so conflicted. I couldnt take it anymore and one night me and this other girl left a bar together and ripped the bandaid off. Of course, the first thing you should do is determine whether this other person is worth leaving your current relationship. She went out, back to the city, almost every other weekend, until last month, when she finally told me about her love for the other. You're honest with them about your marital problems It's rather difficult keeping your marital problems secret since there will be times when you're going to need a fresh perspective on things. issue within your relationship that needs to be addressed. Hi Kj, it would appear that youre willing to move on from your relationship with your boyfriend of 2 years. This article will provide you with tools for analyzing your feelings and getting a better idea of what you truly want, and then I will explain some tools to help you reach your goal and be truly happy in love. Thing is, weve had issues even before we were married but Ive always chosen to work it out. With time, youll both start feeling, Im so in love with you and your bond can become stronger than ever. And I just couldnt believe someone actually treated me with respect and genuinely cared to hear what was bothering me what was on my mind. I dont even know what I want in my life to make me happy. You can feel paralyzed by the prospect of having to choose one person. Youll need some time on your own to heal and get back in touch with yourself, and then if youre meant to enter into a new relationship, it will happen naturally. Its been a year since then. root issue(s) is/are, what youre willing to do about it, what your husband is willing to do We separated (even though we continued to talk everyday and spend time together) and he met this girl on bumble a couple of days after leaving. Im on the other side of the situation: I have fallen for this guy so much in the few months since we got together. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching by clicking here. They went to school together in Africa and she initiated contact with him. I am attached to a person i cant have (coz she is also married) and i am not left with any emotions for a person i have. Weve probably been close for about 4 years. Married But In Love With Someone Else? Happily Committed. To work with us, you can click here. His face lights up when he sees you. marriage may have run its course. Hi Jodi, thank you for sharing your story. So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. Hi Kim, Thank you for sharing your story. You can definitely see your expertise within the paintings you write. " To My Dear and Loving Husband " by Anne Bradstreet. I told him i love him and if he cant handle the situation with me, he can choose to walk away and i will respect him with his decision. about it, and whether you truly believe that this is the person for you. Team Happily Committed. Ofcourse I cant tell him Im seeing someone else and its tearing me apart. Love is such a fascinating emotion. I feel trapped and alone and Ive lost the person I fell in love with as well. Hi there, it is always best to take some time to yourself to heal after a separation. but the one who has been with girls before which happens to be the one in the marriage that isnt working at all doesnt trust that her bestfriend / love of her life will leave her husband for her. Its true love grows and love fades so its we to try to keep it growing . I am in love with my SO, the affection, intimacy, sex life is amazing! But that doesn't mean there's no coming back. This type of thing does not happen out of the blue. The thing is all these years Ive been with the person Im with Ive put up this facade as if I hate the mother of my kids guts just to please my wife, but in reality I never stopped loving her and the feeling is mutual. So that is why it is important to think about the long-term consequences, or in other words, what happens later on down the road. Focus your energy instead on falling back in love with your husband by bringing new things into your relationship. We are together baby is here now. He has cheated on me during our 1st year of marriage, said he got drunk and it was a mistake and came clean about it so I forgave him. He feels this girl is what he wants, but in my heart he is just running from something or likes the newness of it. So the very first thing that I invite you to do that will help you determine what is best for you, is to focus on the long-term results and consequences of any decision that you make right now. I didnt divorce, but I have moved out and come back. How do you navigate new love? And i love him now. but I have different concept. It is true that some people will opt to stay in a relationship in order to protect their family and the environment in which their children grow up, but it is also important to note that sometimes the tensions that build between the two spouses living under the same roof can have more of a negative effect on the children than a divorce or a separation. One of the people I worked with recently who came to me with a question about this type of situation wrote, But I just feel so gulity because Im going to break up with my boyfriend partner of 17years and the bottom line is Paul loves me and i am so scared not too leave him because I know I dont love him anymore we are more like room mates but he would disagree with that i will make him cry and I do dread what he would do without me in his life. For example, in many of the situations I see on a regular basis in which two people in a relationship are struggling because there was infidelity, a recurring theme is neglect. I am not expecting answers to all that, I dont want to hurt him and Im very scared I will be unhappy with the choice I made. He threatened suicide so that I would just give him what he wants. You can have an honest conversation with this person and tell them that you have chosen to save your marriage, so the affair and contact must end. Am also worried if i stay in the marriage i may never be truly happy again as he (my husband)cant love me the way i want to be loved. Hi Im so glad I found your site It's Hard to Love Someone Who Loves Someone Else Quotes & Sayings.